Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I know her cup size but not her name....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
