you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
