I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
