she was so not down for the gang bang
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
