I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
