I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
