Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You made out with two different species that night
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
