Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
