I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize