She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
