It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My balls are so social today.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Are we still banned from the library?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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