I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
two words...techno handjob
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
