he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
