i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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