A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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