Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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