There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
