Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have tasted many bathrooms
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
