is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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