is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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