discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
