Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
