Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Found the puke drawer
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
