at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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