My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
