Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
