He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
