I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
