Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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