I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
