So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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