i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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