Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
