I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
