Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
