Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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