i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
