Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
