I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
