My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
