I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
