I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Never underestimate the power of titties
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
