I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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