So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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