I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I am full of burrito and curiosity
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
