I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
