hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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