Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
