I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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