These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
