yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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