Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
