Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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