tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
