Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
