i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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