Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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