I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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