His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just want nice things and good sex
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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