After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
