There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
