It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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