Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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