Duck Duck Cougar?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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