She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
