i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
