fuck your aforementioned shoe
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
