if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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