I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
