im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
