now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
