I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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