Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
