Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
