a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
