He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
