Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
