Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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