I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
